Dumbass of the Week Award

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/05/11/cheetahs-chase-tourists-at-dutch-safari-park-after-family-gets-out-car-to-snap-pictures.html


I know it's Fox News but this video says it all. So you're on safari, or in a safari park and you spot a few cheetahs lounging about. What do you do? Well, those with sense would more than likely keep a good distance away and take a picture or two from your vehicle. Not these bozos...and they have a baby with them too....

*facepalm*

Copy and paste the link above into your internet browser to view video.

Help for the Offended

Feelings hurt? Didn’t get what you want? Feeling life isn’t being fair to you?

Then cry some more! Call O-1-1 and complain!! O as in the letter…or 5 if you are too stupid to look at your phone and see what that number the letter O is assigned to.

You’ll talk to other whiners and complainers who can help you find some libtard movement to become a part of, call the media for you to blow the whole thing out of proportion, or offer you help in ordering a pacifier, a coloring book, crayons, a blanket—weighted or extra-large baby, and hell, even some Valium if you need it. The more offended you are, the more help you can get! Be sure to tell your Crybaby Advocate your location so you can find the safe space closest to you that has gun-free, drug-free, and truth-free zone signs posted.

Just dial O-1-1 and listen to the prompts:

For English press 666, for a list of all other languages, press 1.

If social media hurt you, press 2.

If you overheard a joke you found offensive—even though you had no business ease dropping, press 3.

If you feel sad because you didn’t get a participation trophy or unending praise at work for just showing up today, press 4.

If someone’s yard display, i.e. nativity scene, Halloween decorations, etc. offended you and you feel you have the right to tell people what to put on their own property, press 5.

If you are calling because you dropped your lollie, press 6.

If you feel violated because a man told you that you looked good today, press 7.

If you are mad because someone doesn’t agree with you and you know all your opinions are facts, press 8.

If you are calling because someone said the words, fat, ugly, slow, dumbass, slut, best friend, or absolutely any word you felt labeled someone or something, press 9.

The  numbers for the following options must be pressed in quick succession!

If you felt someone was pushing their beliefs because they are a hateful Christian and who said for you to have a “Blessed day,” press 10.

If you feeling you were treated horribly because you were being stupid and someone called you out on it, press 11.

If you are absolutely horrified because someone let the dog out in any weather under 70 degrees and over 75 degrees, press 12.

If you are equally horrified because someone accidentally stepped on the cat’s tail, press 13.

If you are calling because you saw someone reading the books Gone with the Wind, or To Kill a Mockingbird, and it made you feel oppressed or made you paranoid that the person reading it might want to oppress you even though they have no idea who the hell you are and are just enjoying good literature that might make them think about how bad things were, press 14.

If your child is studying factual history (not whitewashed to make it appear that really bad things didn’t happen to certain people or that they might find out about a person who hurt your or someone else’s’ ancestors), press 15.

If you feel it was unjust that someone was talking about whatever and didn’t include you—even though you don’t know, or barely knew the offender--and the conversation didn’t include all races, gender identities, ethnic backgrounds, people with disabilities, kids who were bullied, autism, all religions, etc., whether the conversation had anything to do with them or not, press 16.

If your brat got on Facebook and spouted a bunch of political bullshit he or she knows nothing about and received backlash, press 17…NOW! If you're the brat in question, go back on Facebook and cry about being bullied.

If you were denied welfare benefits because you think work sucks, press 18.

If you are a criminal and feel sad because no one trusts you now, press 19.

If you feel some people think they are better than you because not everyone is just like you, doesn’t think like you, possesses gifts you don’t have, has their own life, is thinner than you, has a better financial situation than you because they worked for it, or won’t share their marbles and you can’t make them, press 20.

If you are upset because someone told you criminals don’t follow laws no matter how tough the laws are, press 21.

If you’re pissed off because you can’t marry your teddy bear, press 22.

If you’re mad because you’re a feminist who screws everything that moves, has different baby-daddies, runs around displaying your “assets”, and feel you are being ‘sexualized’, (and someone dared laughed at your pussy hat), press 23.

If you think it’s an injustice that people don’t accept your decision to identify as a tree instead of a human, press 24.

If you’re upset because disability denied your claim and laughed at you for saying you had PTSD because you watched a scary movie, press 25.

If you’re mad because you weren't allowed to bring you’re service goat into the grocery store, press 26.

If you’re a spoiled brat whose parents hurt your little self-esteem because they DARED discipline you because you were being an asshole either by putting you in the corner, yelling at you, grounding you, taking away your phone, or god forbid, giving you a swat on the butt, press 27.

If you’re crying because someone isn’t your friend, or simply doesn’t like you, press 28.

If you just can’t take it anymore because everyone in the world, especially those who really want to do you harm, won’t join hands and sing Cum-bi-ya, because you felt that asking them to “please stop” would make them change their minds, press 29.

If you are completely overwhelmed and on the verge of or are screaming like your mama died because a candidate you voted for in some election didn’t win and you just have to change this, press 30.

If you’re a straight, white, Christian male, please hang up and go drown yourself now--everything in the world is absolutely your fault.

If you’ve forgotten why you got offended but are still crying, feeling sad, or mad, please wait on the line and a qualified Crybaby Advocate will answer your call shortly.

If this hotline offended you in any way, hang up, get a life, a JOB, a hobby, or something because you obviously have too much time on your hands—or better yet, close your internet browser and don’t read it. Get off the internet or your smart phone and go spend time with people. Some of them actually love you for some reason.

To repeat these options, please press #*@1

Laziness

I seem to be too lazy to post anything on this blog. It's not that I have had a whole hell of a lot to do.

I will be substitute teaching this fall...oh those poor little kids!

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

My dog's breath smells like poop.

The contestants on History Channel's Alone are nuts. I don't normally like reality shows. Hey, what happened to actually showing History type shows on this channel???

I am too into collecting vintage toys from child hood...maybe I should post something about that.

Meh.

Good night, everybody!

New Year's Deception

It might be mid-January but I still have thoughts of those little lies we tell ourselves on January 1 every single year: New Year's Resolutions.

How many people actually keep these?

"Oh I'm going to lose a ton of weight this year!"

"I'm going to stay out of drama this year!"

"I am totally going to start working out!!!"

Then on December 31, you are still sitting on your fat ass pissed off because a relative or some so-called friend that you don't have sense enough to throw out of your life keeps causing you problems or won't shut up about your business or their own. You get up huffing and puffing to the fridge for another whatever-tastes-good at the time snack.

You promptly feel like shit.

But tomorrow is a new year!! Let's make a new start!!

You automatically feel unbelievably better and intend to get started TOMORROW!

And so the cycle goes...

We Are All Damaged

When I look at you, I do not see your skin color,

Or whether you are male or female.

 I don’t consider your gender identity

Or your sexual preference.

When I talk to you, I don’t think about your religion;

Your nationality or ethnicity.

I will not judge your outward appearance that is different from mine

Nor will I try to break apart your IQ.

The only thing I look for is compassion and humanity.

I look for a respect in our differences,

And that includes our difference of opinion.

I look for tolerance, but do not beg for acceptance.

When I look at you

I see a wonderfully imperfect human being.

And if you are nice to and respect me,

I will freely give you the same.

If not, I will walk away.

I will not beg for your approval

And I will not deal with your issues toward me,

For these issues are yours.

I would expect you would do the same for me.

For like me,

You are an exquisitely damaged human being.

My Two Cents on the Charlottesville Riot. (And yes, I believe it was a riot.)

I try to stay away from politics mainly because it irritates me to no end. However, what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia, last weekend is not entirely a political problem—it is a HUMAN problem.

Why?

We can’t let it go. We can’t let go of hate and our past. (This includes EVERYONE in this equation.) We can’t let the past and hate go because we HAVE NOT learned from it. We shame each other for what our ancestors did and seem to forget that healing starts with US.

White supremacy is a scourge that needs to be stomped out. Black hatred needs to go too, as does hatred for women, and for those who practice religion. Frankly, I think when it comes to religion, folks need to mind their own beeswax unless it directly hurts someone, and I’m not talking hurt feelings. If someone lives in a way you do not agree with, but does not hurt you or others, mind your business! But this is another discussion for another day.

Charlottesville was a hate fueled on both sides. I can’t honestly say I know who started it, I’ve researched and read different tales. But really, put a white supremacy group anywhere and you are going to have trouble. Mix that with BLM and ANTIFA and that’s a powder keg. The results were unsurprisingly explosive and tragic. This nonsense cost one poor lady, who was ran over by a neo-nazi, and two state troopers their lives when their helicopter crashed as they were looking over the scene. I cry for their families and applaud these lost folks their braveness.

All these groups have the right to assemble and to protest. However, no one has the right to run people over, injure them, beat them, or kill them—no matter what side you’re on. I think hate groups need to go, but you can’t force it. Being hateful is not a crime, although what you do with that hatred sure can be. Violence is not going to help the issue. Talking? I doubt it. We must learn and communicate, be informed, and enlightened—all of us. Folks, we have other extreme threats to our nation from other areas. If we stay divided like this over our differences, we are doomed and ripe for foreign picking.

Facebook—don’t get your news there. It boggles the mind and angers you to the point of an aneurysm. Twitter—I don’t listen to celebrities because honestly, I think they have no clue. Stay away from biased news if you can. I get mine from the local channel, and hell I wonder about them sometimes. I boycott Fox News, CNN, MSNBC—well I do watch Lockup on MSNBC on Friday or Saturday night… I also boycott most online news outlets. I try to learn which ones are fake and which aren’t. One thing to remember, “he who controls the media, controls the world.”

Trump? I don’t blame him for the carnage, BUT he really needs to shut his yap, stay off Twitter, and LEAD his county for a change. Anyone who hurt someone at this rally—or riot as I would call it—has something to answer for. Unless they were trying to defend themselves, of course.

Furthermore, I, as a historian, do not like the destruction of monuments. I think that’s what started the whole thing. If you don’t like them on state property, put them in a museum and leave them alone. As for stone mountain, there are those who are calling for that carving to be blown off the planet. That carving is historical and to destroy that would be a tragedy. It is important to realize that destroying monuments and statues will not destroy hate. It is important to see and learn—otherwise, we are doomed to repeat atrocities of the past.

The Pursuit of Happiness

It is truly in the small things; things you cannot put a price on. Some people chase happiness their whole lives and never find it, mainly because happiness does not need to be chased; it is not usually found in success, big houses, expensive cars, fame; this list goes on and on. These folks, I call them “chasers”, do not seem to realize that happiness—true happiness—comes when you treat yourself, not with a new car that is better than your neighbor’s, but with simple things like sitting in the park on a sunny day in your favorite season. NO ONE is too busy for that. If you have time to sit in a realtor’s office, a Mercedes’ dealership, or shopping at Sak’s, then you definitely have time to find a bench in the park, sit your backside down and enjoy whatever you enjoy. Feeding the birds, watching children play, or just taking in some fresh air.

 But this is only part of it.

I get on my Facebook account and get really sick of whiners who just have to have everyone know how bad their lives suck, how bad they are treated, and then how “strong” they are. Yes, a rant once in a while is acceptable, so is asking for help and support. But those I am referring to do this just about every day, sometimes several times a day. I want to grab them by the lapels and shake the holy hell out of them. Get off your ass and make yourself happy, Nimrod! You DO NOT have to be this miserable! “Oh I have nothing to be grateful for, there are no positives in my life, people bully me…blah blah blah… but I am the strongest person alive and you couldn’t survive all that I have…” Bullshit. Strong people don’t do that, and most people don’t feel sorry for you anyway. That sucks, but that’s how it is. After a while people get tired of your drama and will stop stroking your sad little ego and telling you how great you really are. You obviously don’t believe them anyway. Contentment does not come from approval of other people, fame, or fortune. Just ask Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe, or other rich or famous unhappy dead person.

Now I know there are exceptions to every rule, even rules of contentment. If someone is constantly abused, a victim of human trafficking, in a war zone, someone who lives in bottom out poverty and filth and starvation. These poor folks, truly have it hard. I can imagine all they can find to be happy is their faith in God, should they have any, a minute of peace if they can find it, a chance to escape if they can grab it, or food and clean water. But this post is really for those who those who “struggle” with “first world problems.” I hate that saying—“first world problems.” And struggle is a word that is completely overused. Remember someone always has it worse than you. You either help these people, pray for them, or sit on your keister and do nothing. And helping those in terrible situations makes some people happy.

But, as they say, I digress.

For those who have a hard time finding positives in their lives, and yes I used to be one of them, here is a good suggestion that you can do. Journal your positives. YES! Journal your positives. Here’s how:

1. Grab a notebook. It doesn’t have to be some fancy journal or diary. A plain notebook will do. If you’re a digital person, do a blog.

2. On the first page put whatever month/year it is. You can also tape or paste a picture of something you like, i.e., a cartoon character, pic of your kids, your favorite Hollywood person, or whatever makes you smile.

3. Second page, today’s date. Sit back for a moment and think of ONE thing that happened that was positive, or something that made you happy. For example, “My BFF called today…I enjoy talking to him/her.” OR “I had ten minutes to myself today and was able to daydream.” Did these things make you happy or content? Dahlings, you cannot put a price on these things.

4. On day two, do the same. However if you are lacking for time, try to at least do this every week. Try to remember something good/positive that happened every day and put it in there. Add pictures if you like—creates great visual stimulation. NEVER put drama or bad things in this book. If absolutely NOTHING happy happened on a certain day, skip it.

 5. ALWAYS go back and read your entries. You will absorb them. You will find more and more positives in your life. Ultimately, your confidence and your own positivity will grow. Then you’ll realize that while life is hard, it is not as bad as you thought.

Sounds a little like I am selling something, doesn’t it? Well I’m not. I just feel that there are ways to enjoy life even when things are rough. This won’t make you hopping happy every day, but it can give you some contentment and peace. Times will get tough and this will show you that there is light in the darkness.